Fun with names
By Hendrik van der Breggen
Over the years I have come to enjoy names. Not being called names, but the meaning of names.
There's a television commercial that illustrates what I'm thinking about. The ad is for a financial institution and it presents us with several of its employees, and, lo and behold, the employees have names like Mr. Banks, or Mrs. Dollar, or Ms. Moneypenny.
Whether the names are of real people, I don't know. But over the years I've come across some interesting people whose names are real, and fit them like a glove.
I'm a philosopher. The etymology of "philosophy" tells us that philosophy is (or is supposed to be) the love of wisdom. The word philos is Greek for pursuit or love. The word sophia is Greek for wisdom. It turns out that a very bright and wise colleague of mine from philosophy graduate school has the last name Wiseman. Professor Wiseman. Sigh…. It is just sooo right. It turns out too that there is a philosopher whose last name is Wisdom. Professor Wisdom. Sigh…. How wonderfully appropriate. I confess: When I think of philosophers Wiseman and Wisdom, there wells up in the depths of my heart a green gooey substance called envy.
But some names don't fit, or maybe they fit too well. And I don't envy the folks who bear these names.
I have a book on my shelf titled Introduction to Christian Ethics. The author's name is Roger H. Crook.
Also, I recently received an e-mail advertisement from an academic publisher for a book titled Anxiety Disorders. One of the psychologists who authored this book has the name David Nutt.
Of course, the institution of marriage can do funny things to people’s names.
A philosophy professor recently told me that he knows of a female ethicist named Sharp who married a man named Paine and is hyphenating her last name. And some of us thought ethicists were a mere pain.
Then a pastor joked at a recent wedding at my church that he was glad that the bride, a teacher whose last name was Schott, didn't hyphenate with her groom's last name. Stephanie Schott-Morris. It just sounds, well, suspicious. (By the way, I mention this case with Stephanie Morris’s permission. She also assures me that the suspicions are ill-founded.)
The nature of some names may actually be beneficial to others by encouraging the name-bearer to keep out of specific fields of employment. I knew a man whose last name was Coward. I shudder at the thought of him being an infantry officer. Major Coward. It just doesn't inspire confidence!
While we’re on the topic of names and the military, please indulge me as I reminisce about a time at the dinner table when my two sons were quite young. During dinner, I mentioned my penchant for names to my boys. A bit later, just before desert, my boys were giggling, but with a suspicious look on their faces. My wife and I asked what was going on. Our eldest son, apparently appointed as spokesperson, responded with a question: "What if there was a soldier whose last name was Parts?" What if there were such a soldier, my wife and I asked. Our son’s answer: "His name would be Private Parts!" Much laughter ensued.
Names can be fun. If you know of any actual person whose (real) name has a good or not-so-good fit with specific circumstances in this person's life, I invite you to leave a comment telling me about this person. Thanks!